Why you should never say never

” I don’t think I could ever NOT drink!”

I hear this all the time. God, I used to say it all the time! But then I realised I was saying it all wrong. “NOT”, “NEVER” “STOP”. It is all so final, no wonder if feels so damn scary.

As soon as you say “NEVER” there is a real sense of the impossible. 

So, let’s slow down, calm down. Let’s look at this realistically. When would you ever set a goal that is so final or so far in the future?

  • I am never going to eat chocolate again.
  • I am going to exercise for the rest of my life. 
  • I am going to save money from now until the day I die. 

You would never say or even attempt to do any of these. So why do we do it with drinking?

Let’s take a step back and think about it realistically. We want to set goals that provide us with a sense of winning and achievement so we see and feel our progress and get that positive winning feedback.

It is this sense of progress and positive feedback that provides us with the wee dopamine hits that keep us going.

It is the dopamine that keeps us going, not the idea that we MUST NEVER drink again. So, what if we just tried it out for a bit? What if we just did not drink today? We succeed = dopamine hit. And then the next day = dopamine hit. Maybe the next week = dopamine hit. What if we did not drink on the next night out and we succeed = dopamine hit. The month = dopamine.

Before we know it we are feeling like we are winning, we start to feel like we are progressing, the days are adding up and we gain confidence and we want to go for longer.

Now we start to really notice the benefits, the sleep, the skin, we are calmer with the kids and we start to think, “I love this feeling, I do not want to go back to drinking, I might keep this going”

Now our mindset has shifted. Now we have gathered up our own evidence about how much better we feel and look. Now the idea of not drinking again seems like a choice and not a great big threat hanging over us.

Drop the big idea of never drinking again and focus on the wee small goals and all the dopamine you get from those. Enjoy the wins, the feedback and celebrate them.

Celebrate your achievements now, do not bury them in a future so far away that they become unachievable.

If you need help setting smaller more achievable goals come and join us and lots of other women like you in our online community. We will support you through each day so you can start to see and feel your own progress.

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